The Foundational Formula For Change, From a Maryland Therapist—Part 1
how does therapy work to create change?
Looking for a sign that it’s time to make a change? This is it!
Many years ago, a colleague of mine shared a formula for understanding change with me while we were at a training together. The clarity and simplicity of it got my attention and I’ve been thinking about it in all the years since then and realize that it’s at the heart of all the work I do with clients and on myself. My colleague didn’t make this up herself, and I don’t know if who she heard it from made it up, but like one of my favorite mediation teachers says, “All wisdom is plagiarized. Only our ignorance is original”. He probably heard that from someone else. So, with great gratitude to all the people that figured out how to express this idea clearly:
insight + action = change
let’s break this down—Pt. 1, insight
Insight is having some understanding and knowledge about the thing that you are trying to figure out or change, whether it’s a behavior, a feeling, a relationship, or anything else. This might include figuring out the answers to questions such as:
Where did I learn this?
Why do I think/do/feel this?
How does this thing help or harm me?
When did this start or ramp up?
What other understandings/beliefs/relationships/behaviors are linked to this?
How does this actually make sense, given the circumstances of my life?
Being able to puzzle out some of these answers can begin to help you develop a fuller understanding of the situation, yourself, and yourself in relationship to the situation. Therapy is a great way of working through some of this insight work, with a guide that knows the terrain and can help you navigate it. But, honestly, it’s not the only way. There are endless possibilities for exploring these questions. Some of the deepest insight exploration I’ve ever done has been through movement paired with music (Curious about this? See this blog post). In therapy, the insight exploration can be done through talking and reflecting, but we can always bring in other tools as well. Some people respond deeply to art, or meditation, or role plays, or silence, or spiritual practice, or experiential activities that engage the whole person. My undergraduate degree was in theatre so I’m a big believer in constant creation through improvisation—using every resource available that makes sense to use in understanding and deepening the experience of the present moment.
Debunking An Insight Myth or Two
The “Aha!” moment is satisfying, but often not enough for change.
Insight is awesome. And, obviously, a critical part of our foundational formula for change. But, here’s the thing that can really trip a lot of folks up—They think they have to fully understand everything about something in order to change it. The hope is that if they can just figure out every angle to this, understand exactly where, when, why, and how this issue cropped up for them, that they can have the big epiphany that finally lets them drop their difficulty like a heavy suitcase they no longer need to carry. But that’s more like the movies and tv than real life. Yes, sometimes there is a huge “Aha!” moment that profoundly shifts a way of thinking and being, but more often it’s a gradually growing sense of welcoming, understanding and accepting oneself, which opens a possibility of change. And you don’t have to have all the pieces figured out to grow in insight. You don’t have to know exactly where you got an idea that’s causing you suffering in order to gain insight that leads to change. You can develop insight about how that idea is causing suffering right here and now, or how it shows up in your behaviors or in your body. That little bit is enough of a start.
it’s a little like rock climbing
Pay close attention and move incrementally to get to your destination.
Have you ever watched someone rock climbing, with all the ropes and harnesses and grippy shoes? How do they get their bodies up what looks like a smooth rock face? They use every single itty bitty feature of the rock. During my final semester of college, I took a lead rock climbing class. I had been climbing for a couple of years at that point and wanted to level up and learn how lead climbing worked—being the first one going up the rock face, placing the anchors and hooking in the ropes for all the climbers that come up after you. The class met for a full day once a week and we were not climbing in a gym. We hauled ourselves out to rock faces and learned by doing. Being up on a cliff with no rope above you really focuses your attention! You have to notice and use absolutely every feature of that rock that might be useful—an indent in the rock, a bump that can be a support for a hand or foot, roughly textured rock that can provide enough friction to push against, a crack or crevice to wedge in a foot or equipment. It’s not a climbing gym with clearly defined handholds and routes. It’s a live puzzle and you make progress up the rock face by understanding what small move to make next, and then the next move, and the next, all the way up. Building insight is like that. Observe everything you can about yourself and your situation; consider what makes sense for this moment in the context of everything you know and have learned; utilize all resources available; learn as you go; and adapt as needed. It’s not easy work, but the reward at the top can be breathtaking.
Teamwork makes the dream work
The other myth we have to address is the one that’s the big idea behind the insight+action=change formula. We can have a hope that just really understanding something is enough to make things different in life. But insight itself is usually not enough to create change. You have to have action. You can understand something perfectly well but if you don’t do anything differently, you aren’t going to see change. By the same token, action alone isn’t going to create lasting change either. You can do all kinds of things, and some of them may work, but if you don’t have insight about the situation, it’s going to be hard for you to be consistent about this, or adapt and apply the changes strategically in various situations.
Looking for more support from a maryland therapist?
Come back to the blog soon for Part 2 of this exploration of the change process. If you are looking for a Maryland therapist as a guide to work with you on this process of change, contact me and let’s see if we make a good team.
FAQs
1. What exactly does a therapist do?
A therapist helps you explore your thoughts, feelings, and patterns with curiosity, not judgment. It’s about unpacking what’s going on internally so you can feel more grounded and supported in your everyday life and make the changes you’d like to see for yourself.
2. Is therapy only for people with a diagnosis?
Not at all. Many of my clients don’t have a formal diagnosis. They’re simply struggling, feeling stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected, or exhausted. Therapy can be a space to process, reflect, and grow, no matter where you’re starting.
3. I’m not sure if my problems are “big enough” for therapy. What should I do?
If something in your life is causing distress or making it harder to show up the way you want to, that’s reason enough. You don’t have to wait until it’s unbearable.
4. What can I expect from a first session?
We’ll talk about what’s been coming up for you, what support might look like, and what you’re hoping to shift or understand more clearly. There’s no pressure to have it all figured out. This is a chance to begin, with support.
5. Do you work with people virtually or in person?
I offer both! Many of my Maryland clients prefer online sessions for the flexibility, but I’m happy to talk through what format works best for you. I see folks in-person at my office in College Park, MD.
6. How often do people usually meet with a therapist?
Weekly sessions are common when we’re starting out, to get momentum going and start to see progress towards your goals sooner rather than later.
7. What types of issues do you specialize in?
I work with folks navigating anxiety, burnout, grief, life transitions, and high-functioning overwhelm (when everything looks okay on the outside, but inside… it’s another story).
8. Is therapy confidential?
Absolutely. Your privacy matters. There are a few legal exceptions we’ll discuss during our first session, but otherwise, what you share stays between us.
9. I’ve tried self-care before and it hasn’t worked. How is therapy different?
Therapy helps you figure out why certain tools aren’t sticking and builds in support as you try new ones. Sometimes we’re just overwhelmed and undersupported.
10. I’m not in crisis, but I’m not okay either. Is therapy still for me?
Yes. Therapy isn’t just for crisis! It’s for the in-between too. You don’t have to wait until things fall apart to ask for support.
Updated: July 23, 2025
