A Maryland Therapist’s Self-Care Toolbox

What’s inside this Maryland therapist’s toolbox?

Not going lie, it’s been rough around here. My nervous system has been working overtime and is struggling. As a Maryland therapist, I KNOW I’m not alone in this. Every week lately, I’ve been talking with folks about building and using their own self-care toolboxes (and to remember what’s in them!). So, I thought I’d share what’s in my toolbox, and in heavy rotation lately.

When I’m feeling out of sorts and emotionally all jacked-up, the first thing I try to do is name what’s happening. What exactly am I feeling? This is helpful for a few reasons:

• By naming it, I’m engaging the thinking part of my brain, instead of the wildly emotional part of my brain.

• Putting it in words, gives me a both a little distance from it and makes it not so personal. ALL people deal with whatever emotion it is that I’m experiencing.

• Getting specific about the emotion helps me know what tools in my self-care toolbox are going to be most useful.

The right tool for the job

Not every tool is right for every job. Choose wisely.

Once I’ve been able to articulate what’s going on, I can then figure out which tools feel most accessible and most useful. What works for panic is not going to be the same thing that works for despair, or rage, or loneliness. The first big flow chart choice is to figure out if I need soothing or activation. Strong anger or anxiety requires soothing. Despair requires activation. Loneliness might need both for me. Once I know the general direction, that guides me towards which tools to try.

It’s a little like the flow chart about repairs. If something is moving but shouldn’t be moving, use duct tape. If it doesn’t move but should, use WD-40. My emotional toolbox is thankfully a bit deeper and more well-resourced than my home repair one.

Soothing Tools

There are many, many, many soothing tools out there. Many of my blog posts on the 7 types of rest will give you tons of ideas. Here’s a look at a few that I personally use:

Sleep: If my nervous system is activated and jangled, I always make sure sleep is a top priority. I’m usually consistent with good sleep habits but I will double down hard if I’m struggling. For me that means no afternoon caffeine, an extended screen-free wind down routine at night, an earlier bedtime, etc. Sleep is key!

Movement: When my step counter on my phone is consistently over 10,000 steps a day, that’s a good indicator that I’m in a very deliberate self-care time. Mostly, I’ll just walk while listening to an audiobook. But I’ll also bust out the yoga mat and even head to the gym for a more vigorous work out, when I know my nervous system needs a hard reset.

Sensory: All the creature comforts that help my nervous system relax get pulled out. Warm tea, soft blankets, the nice smelling lotion that I don’t use all the time, music that calms and soothes me.

Focus: When I’m too activated, my mind is traveling down so many dark rabbit holes all at once. I need a way to collect my mind and let it settle. A craft or other hands-on activity that requires just enough focus is helpful for me. Something too complicated will upset me further and something too easy allows my mind to wander too much. Things like a puzzle, some knitting, baking or a craft project often work for me. I’ve been working on a mosaic art project recently, doing just a little at a time. Also, fiction books. A great story can give me the escape I need.

Consumption: When I’m agitated, I’m more likely to want to consume things that aren’t going to help and might make me feel worse. This is the time for me to limit caffeine, alcohol and sugar and to make sure I eat balanced meals that include more protein and produce.

Activating tools

Connection and laughter can help activate a sluggish nervous system.

Activating tools are for when I’m sluggish and stuck and low. Here are some of my go-to favorites for myself:

Connect: One of the cool things about nervous systems is that we can co-regulate (kind of sync up with) the nervous systems of others. Often times a low-pressure connection with a friend, either in-person or virtually, can help move my own system along more. Meeting for a cup of tea or a walk often does a lot for me.

Move: Movement is awesome because it can help regulate the nervous system up or down. When I have very little energy, it might just be a stroll down the block or a couple of easy stretches. But every little bit seems to help get the ball rolling in a better direction.

Laugh: Laughter is good for us! And it can be effective even when it starts off as fake. A funny video or movie can help me at times. But I’m a big fan of comedians that use a long-form style that blends the serious with comedy because I get caught up in the story and then the laughter catches me off-guard. Netflix thankfully has a number of those kinds of specials.

Consumption: Since I’m kind of sensitive to caffeine, a little goes a long ways. An extra cup of strong tea can help, which may give me enough oomph to do something else helpful like move my body a bit. Heavy, comfort foods will sound appealing to me but I know I’ll have more energy and feel better if I favor something more balanced that won’t leave me feeling more sluggish after eating. I lower the expectation bar and don’t worry about energy-intensive cooking projects and lean on nutritious foods that require almost no prep.

putting it together

If you’re a fellow human (and especially if you’re a helper, healer, or caregiver), your nervous system probably feels like it’s been through the wringer lately. Mine too. That’s why I wanted to pull back the curtain and show you what self-care looks like in real time for a Maryland therapist.

It’s not always spa days and lavender candles (though hey, I like both of those). It’s often choosing the hard, necessary thing. Like taking a walk when I don’t feel like it. Reaching out to someone when I’d rather isolate. Prioritizing sleep even when my to-do list is screaming.

My hope is that by sharing what’s in my toolbox, it might spark something in you—remind you that you do have tools, or inspire you to build your own. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to start, that’s okay. You don’t have to figure it all out alone.

You don’t have to do it all on your own

If you’re navigating anxiety, burnout, or just feeling like your internal toolkit is a little... understocked, I’m here to help. As a Maryland therapist, I support people who are doing their best to hold it all together—but want more than just “getting by.”

You deserve care too. Let’s talk about what that could look like together.

I offer a free 15-minute consultation to help you figure out whether working together feels like the right fit. You can contact me here to schedule your call.

FAQs

1. What exactly does a therapist do?

A therapist helps you explore your thoughts, feelings, and patterns with curiosity—not judgment. It’s about unpacking what’s going on internally so you can feel more grounded and supported in your everyday life.

2. Is therapy only for people with a diagnosis?

Not at all. Many of my clients don’t have a formal diagnosis. They’re simply struggling—feeling stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected, or exhausted. Therapy can be a space to process, reflect, and grow, no matter where you’re starting.

3. I’m not sure if my problems are “big enough” for therapy. What should I do?

If something in your life is causing distress or making it harder to show up the way you want to, that’s reason enough. You don’t have to wait until it’s unbearable.

4. What can I expect from a first session?

We’ll talk about what’s been coming up for you, what support might look like, and what you’re hoping to shift or understand more clearly. There’s no pressure to have it all figured out—just a chance to begin.

5. Do you work with people virtually or in person?

I offer both! Many of my Maryland clients prefer online sessions for the flexibility, but I’m happy to talk through what format works best for you. I see folks in-person at my office in College Park, MD.

6. How often do people usually meet with a therapist?

Weekly sessions are common when we’re starting out, but we can adjust based on your needs, goals, and schedule.

7. What types of issues do you specialize in?

I work with folks navigating anxiety, burnout, grief, life transitions, and high-functioning overwhelm (when everything looks okay on the outside, but inside… it’s another story).

8. Is therapy confidential?

Absolutely. Your privacy matters. There are a few legal exceptions we’ll discuss during our first session, but otherwise, what you share stays between us.

9. I’ve tried self-care before and it hasn’t worked. How is therapy different?

Therapy helps you figure out why certain tools aren’t sticking—and builds in support as you try new ones. Sometimes we’re just overwhelmed and undersupported.

10. I’m not in crisis, but I’m not okay either. Is therapy still for me?

Yes. Therapy isn’t just for crisis—it’s for the in-between too. You don’t have to wait until things fall apart to ask for support.