You Deserve Love and Care: Self-Love Suggestions from a Maryland Therapist
Give yourself some extra love this month with tips from a Maryland therapist.
Step into any grocery store or department store in February, and you’ll be quickly bombarded with hearts, candy, flowers and suggestions to buy something nice for your special someone this Valentine’s Day. Capitalism never misses a chance to shoot its shot, right? But I digress…
What I would really love to see is an effort to take time this month for each person to show themselves a bit more love and care. January gets all hyped up with resolutions that can feel like a perpetual self-improvement project, but often lose steam by February. The holiday season at the end of the previous year, with its indulgent “treat yourself” messages, already feels far away. Wouldn’t a little reset be nice right about now?
You Deserve Love and Care
Can you take a moment to pause and tell yourself something important? Would you be willing to take a minute, put a hand on your belly or heart, feel the warmth and pressure of your own touch, and tell yourself, “You deserve love and care”? See what it feels like in your brain, body and being to receive that kindness and validation. Do you soften and drink it in? Do you bristle and object? Does it slide right off, without sinking in? Observe where you are at this foundational starting point of simply believing that this is true.
Many paths To love
Loving ourselves isn’t a one-size-fits-all template. We all have different needs, person to person and moment to moment. Loving ourselves well requires some responsiveness to what is true in this very moment. Sometimes we are totally depleted and exhausted beyond measure and loving ourselves might mean protecting time for rest and relaxation. Other times, we may recognize that our bodies need fresh air or movement and the loving response is to provide for those needs. We may need solitude or good company, novelty or perseverance, stillness or movement, the warm nourishment of soups & stews or the refreshment of vibrant fruits & vegetables. Self-love or care can sometimes look like indulgence (Take that needed nap!), and it can sometimes look like discipline (Borrow that book from the library instead of buying it so you can pay down some debt). At the heart of it all is a willingness to be steadfastly on our own side. That doesn’t mean that we are against anyone else—simply that we stay present and caring for ourselves.
Let The Pendulum Settle
If you’ve ever watched a pendulum swing, you’ll notice that when you pull it back and let it go, it will have to travel to the other side the same amount of distance from the center point as its starting point on the original side. It’s got to go all the way from one side, all the way in the opposite direction before it begins to come back towards the center as it continues to swing back and forth. We’re a lot like pendulums. When we lean really hard one way, we often boomerang back hard the other way before settling into some middle ground. The end of the year holidays are often a high point of indulgence for many—spending, eating, drinking. Then comes January, when may people swing hard in the opposite direction. Can we allow February to be a time when the pendulum can slow and come back towards the middle again? Can we tune into our own needs, instead of the messages bombarding us from the outside, to really understand how best to show up for ourselves?
Roadblocks on the Paths to Love
It’s not always easy to love ourselves. There may be some very real obstacles in our paths that make it challenging. Sometimes there are old messages from others that have gotten so stuck in our heads that it’s hard to hear our own needs and desires. Perhaps there are traumatic events from the past that make it hard to feel safe to listen to and love yourself. Often we put ourselves at the very end of the priority list and just forget, waiting forever for there to be energy or time “left over” for ourselves. Many of us have responsibilities to others as well and find it challenging to balance our own needs with theirs. Maybe there are parts of you that feel ok to love, and other parts that don’t feel ok to embrace. If any of that sounds familiar, you are not alone. If. you want to find a better way around these roadblocks, it can sometimes help to talk with a good friend or a professional who can help you compassionately navigate this territory a little more skillfully.
Love to last all year long
Opportunities to show up for yourself, love yourself, be on your own side, aren’t just available this month, unlike the heart shaped peanut butter cups on sale now. They are plentiful the whole year long. I hope you’ll gather some of them in for yourself.
A free consultation With A Compassionate Maryland Therapist
If you are looking for support in being steadfastly and skillfully on your own side, please reach out. I see folks for therapy and hypnotherapy in College Park, MD and online throughout Maryland. You can explore more information about my services as a Maryland therapist throughout the website. Feel free to contact me for a free 15 minute phone consultation.
